


thin line of a lightning strike

by Tash_ka



Series: how did your debts get paid? [3]
Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Slash, gratuitous amounts of happy endings, with just a bit of sadness added to the mix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 16:09:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17852840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tash_ka/pseuds/Tash_ka
Summary: It had been three days since Sadie and Dutch left and Arthur was getting anxious.





	thin line of a lightning strike

**Author's Note:**

> I've finally finished the last part of this series, or at least I think it's the last part? We'll see. 
> 
> I had a bit of a crisis in the middle of writing this, that's why it took longer than I expected, but I'm pretty happy with the end result. I had a lot of fun writing it, especially the ending. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with this story, I hope you enjoy this part :)

It had been three days since Sadie and Dutch left and Arthur was getting anxious.

The uneasy feeling seemed to spread across everyone on the farm and was getting stronger with every passing hour. Right now Arthur was observing John, who was clearly agitated, unsure what to do with himself as they kept waiting with Sadie and Dutch nowhere in sight.  
He couldn't pretend he didn't notice how John basically locked himself inside the house with Jack and Abigail a few hours ago. But even inside he was acting like a cornered dog, skittish to every noise and snapping at Jack every time he tried to beg him to go out. It wasn’t long until Abigail threw him out of the house, claiming he was scaring the boy. Now he was pacing around the house, one hand always touching the pistol placed in his holster, his grip tightening at the smallest of sounds. 

As for Charles, last evening Arthur saw him taking the rifle and heading outside, murmuring something about taking watch. They didn't have anyone guarding the house since they'd moved here. Arthur could still see his silhouette, sitting under a tree, leaning against the trunk, eyes gazing towards the road. It was almost twenty-four hours later and somehow Arthur was sure that Charles didn't get any sleep the whole time. 

He growled in frustration at both of them. Throwing one last look in John's direction, he grabbed a pot of coffee and two cups before making his way to Charles. 

"Charles" he greeted, aiming for casual, but knowing he wasn't fooling anyone, especially the man before him. Charles was a good judge of character, great when it came to Arthur, which wasn't surprising after all they'd been through before and after Dutch's betrayal. He could always see though Arthur's bullshit. 

Charles hummed his greeting in return, not even glancing in Arthur's direction, his eyes were focused on the road leading from their house and curving just to disappear in the forest. 

Arthur sighed, planting himself down on the grass next to the other man. 

"You should get some sleep" Charles hummed again in response but didn't make any move to get up. Arthur frowned. "Charles" he repeated, this time harder, placing his hand on Charles' shoulder with intention of getting the other man's attention. 

It worked. Charles' eyes briefly met his and Arthur could see them widening in surprise, like Charles didn't notice he was there until now. Arthur tried to ignore the worry that was settling down in his stomach. 

"Charles, you are exhausted. You need to get some sleep." 

"I'm fine” Charles mumbled, shrugging the hand on his shoulder.

"You've been sitting here since yesterday. Let me take over and go rest a bit" 

"Arthur, I'm fine" This time Charles’ tone was harsher, his lips forming a thin line. Arthur had to stop himself from spatting back at him. He knew better than to argue with him when he was like that. It wouldn’t help if anything it would make Charles even less responsive. 

Arthur settled more comfortably against the tree, doing so ostensibly enough to let Charles know he wasn’t taking any of his bullshit. His shoulder was mere inches from Charles', close enough to feel the warmth radiating from the other man. Once settled, he reached for the pot of coffee he left on the grass and showed it to Charles. 

"You want some?" 

"Sure" Charles' voice was softer as he replied, his face relaxing into a sheepish smile, an apology. 

Arthur nodded at him. Apology accepted. He poured two full cups of coffee and they settled into silence, taking a sip of the hot liquid from time to time. 

Arthur could feel worry pouring out of Charles, mirroring his own. They both knew Sadie and Dutch should had been back by now, but neither one of them was willing to voice their worry. Too afraid that saying the words would make them come true. 

They knew the plan was risky. Despite Dutch painting it as an easy in and out job, everyone was aware of how dangerous getting the money really was. Now all that they could do was sit and wait, listening for even the smallest sound of approaching horses. 

Arthur hated the helplessness. Not knowing what was happening, not being able to do anything. It left too much room for thinking and the deeper he got tangled in his own thoughts the more uncertain of this whole thing he became. 

In his head he was replying every conversation he had with Dutch over the last weeks, realizing with bemusement that he was, once again, trusting a man who betrayed him so many times. Even though he promised himself he would never trust Dutch blindly again. Was what he did anything other than blind trust? 

Arthur prided himself in being able to read Dutch better than anyone, especially after everything that happened recently. The other man seemed sincere when he promised to help them. But there was something else. The nagging feeling at the back of Arthur's mind telling him something wasn't right. And he just went ahead and ignored it. 

John was right when he said that he had a blind spot when it came to Dutch. No matter how many times he promised himself he won't forget what Dutch did, deep down he knew he had already forgiven him. All it took was a glimpse of the man Dutch was before, the man he knew and loved more than the loved his own father. Dutch didn't have to give him much, just enough for Arthur to still hope. 

Arthur was well aware that Dutch was a master at showing him exactly what he wanted to see. The funny thing was that Arthur doubted if it was even intentional. A conman couldn't just turn on and off his craft. And Dutch's great con was always making people believe he was more than just a man. He poised himself as their savior, someone they could trust and follow. Always the center of attention, the great showman needing admiration to thrive. In Arthur’s case it was showing just enough glimpses of old Dutch for Arthur to keep believing he needed the other man.

John saw through it a long time ago. Arthur could laugh at the thought of John Marston being smarter than him if it wasn't so goddamn sad. But John was never as close to Dutch as he was. He joined them later, when Dutch, Hosea and Arthur were already together for some years. John was always more attached to Arthur than to Dutch and Hosea. The big brother who took him hunting, drinking and taught him how to survive in this world. All the things that Dutch did for him, Arthur did for John. 

No wonder John trusted Arthur enough to go along with Dutch's plan. 

Arthur sighed quietly, thinking about the mess they could be in if Sadie and Dutch didn't get the money. Once again on the run, trying to live of whatever they could get from selling the farm with no certain future in sight. Everything that he hoped they had behind them. 

And if anything happened to Sadie. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to live with that kind of guilt, knowing that she died because she trusted him. 

Arthur was so deep in his thought that he only noticed Charles was trying to say something to him, when he put his hand on Arthur’s shoulder and shook him lightly. 

“You alright, Arthur?” he asked, his voice deep and laced with concern. He seemed more like himself now, still looking tired, but the spark in his eyes was back. “You looked pretty out of it for a moment.”

Arthur forced a small laugh. Leave it to Charles to seat on guard the whole day and night and then be worried about Arthur’s health. 

“I recon I should be asking you that question, not the other way around.” He quirked an eyebrow, trying to make his tone light. Anything to stop Charles from looking at him so intensely, like he could read Arthur’s thoughts with just one look. 

Arthur was painfully aware that he was terrible at hiding his feelings. Especially from people closest to him, his family, who knew him well enough to not be fooled by his tough and harsh exterior. Adding to that the fact that Charles was annoyingly perceptive and sometimes it felt like reading Arthur was his hobby. No wonder that when his eyes eventually left Arthur, he had a knowing expression on his face.

“We’re going to stick with you no matter what happens, you know that, don’t you?” Though from his tone of voice it was clear he didn’t think that Arthur knew that.

Arthur snorted and looked away. He didn’t want to see the soft understanding on Charles’ face. It felt like he didn’t deserve it.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t” he murmured, eyes on the mug in his hands, that was still half full, the coffee probably cold by now. “Charles, if something happens to Sadie, it will be because of me. I don’t know how any of you can just ignore that. I sure as hell can’t.”

“You didn’t force her to go”

“She didn’t have much of a choice after I accepted Dutch’s plan, did she?” Arthur looked up just to meet Charles raised eyebrows.

“Like you could force Sadie to do something she didn’t want to do” he huffed, and deep-down Arthur knew he was right. He would pity any fool trying to force Sadie Alder to do something she didn’t want to do. 

Charles fell silent for a moment before he carried on, his face turning serious. His eyes were looking deep into Arthur’s, willing him to believe the words he was saying. 

“The point is, if any of us thought we had other options, we wouldn’t agree to go along with Dutch’s plan. We trust you, but we aren’t blind. Even John, no matter how angry he is at Dutch, how much he doesn’t trust him, deep down knew that it was worth a shot.” 

With Charles’ eyes staring into his so sincere and full of understanding, Arthur couldn’t even try disagreeing, knowing he would be defeated by the sheer determination on Charles’ face. The other man hell bent on making Arthur see he was right.

“So don’t beat yourself up about trusting Dutch. Maybe you were right, maybe not, but you didn’t make that choice for us.” Another pause, where Charles breathed deeply in and out, his face softening again. “Are we clear about that? Or do you want me to call John and Abigail over here, so they can tell you the same thing?” And then he smirked, like he had just won the argument. A barely noticeable quirk at the corner of his lips, that Arthur could very well imagine, but was sure that he didn’t. 

Arthur narrowed his eyes, mouth opening and then closing again with irritated grumble. He pretended not to notice how Charles’ smirk widened. 

They fell into silence once again, but this time Arthur felt more at ease. It was like some of the weight Arthur was carrying for the last three days was lifted. He was still worried about Sadie, hoping she would be airtight, but he knew that no matter what happened they would face it together. They’d survived so much already and if fate wanted to test them once again so be it. 

“Thanks, I guess I needed that” he said finally, long after Charles’ face turned back towards the road. At hearing Arthur’s words Charles smiled, shoulders sagging a little.

“Of course you did.” Charles sighed. "I don't know where did you get that notion that you have to be responsible for all of us. That you must be a leader that makes no mistakes. Although seeing who was your mentor I'm not really surprised." 

"You know I've never realized how much pressure Dutch was under all the time. We lost so many people and he took all of those deaths as his personal failures. If something would happen to Sadie... I can't even imagine. It can drive a man mad." 

"You think that's what happened to him?" 

"I don't know. When I visited him he behaved like he just woke up from a bad dream. Losing Hosea really did a number on him. He lost his moral compass, the person that really understood him." Arthur exhaled loudly, turning his head back to look at Charles. "Hell, I don't know what I would do if I ever lost..." he cut off abruptly, the word almost on his lips. The realization hit him suddenly. He never thought about it, but now that the words were about to leave his lips he realized how true they were. That this feeling was there for some time now, he was just never able to put the name to it. Until now. 

You. 

That's what he meant to say. Charles was his moral compass, the person that understood him best. Ever since Horseshoe Overlook, or maybe even earlier. Being able to confide in him, seek his advice when he needed it, kept Arthur sane through all their failures. When Hosea wasn't around anymore, and Dutch was slowly going insane, pushing Arthur farther and farther away, Charles was there to listen to his worries and comfort him. After he got shot, it was Charles who found him and somehow got him down from the mountain. Arthur half dead and delirious with fever and betrayal. 

He must have looked ridiculous, sitting there, facing the other man, his lips parted slightly with unsaid words, as realization dawned on him. He tried to untangle the mess that his thoughts were right now and say something, aware of the prolonged silence between them. Having Charles opposite of him, studying Arthur intently, brows furrowed, like he had a particularly difficult puzzle in front of him wasn't helping. 

"Stop staring at me" Arthur mumbled finally. He narrowed his eyes trying to appear at least a bit intimidating but couldn't shake the feeling that it just looked pitiful. Charles smiled widely. 

"I'm just waiting for you to finish whatever you were saying" 

"You know very well what I wanted to say, you bastard. Don't pretend you don't." 

Charles huffed a laugh. "Alright, alright" he said, trying to mask his mirth by putting on a straight face. But Arthur could still see small smile playing across his lips and his eyes shining with laughter.

He just shook his head, deciding not to comment, afraid it might give Charles the idea that he wanted to carry on with this conversation. 

Apparently, Charles could get that idea all by himself. 

"Arthur?" he asked after a moment, leaning back into the tree and crossing his legs. He was sitting closer than before, Arthur was sure he didn't imagine that. Their shoulders were pressing firmly against each other and one of Charles' crossed knees was almost resting on Arthur's thigh. 

Arthur hummed in response, too distracted by that sudden realization to do anything else. 

"That thing that I know you wanted to say? I feel the same way." Charles finished, his voice soft, but clear and sure. From the corner of his eye Arthur could see the man's profile, his face was turned towards the road, relaxed and open. 

Arthur could feel words catching in his throat. "Yeah, great... Thanks" he blurted out, silently cursing his tongue for not being willing to cooperate with him. He cringed at how awkward it sounded, but Charles didn't seem to mind. He let out another soft laugh and patted Arthur's thigh lightly. 

"Anytime." 

Arthur looked up at him, startled. The moment their eyes met he suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. Charles eyes were sparkling with gentle feeling that Arthur wasn't yet ready to name. It was mesmerizing. Pulling him in, making him feel safe and warm all over. All he knew was that he never wanted to stop looking into those eyes. They were like lights shinning in the dark, guiding him safely to shore. He didn't realize until now how lost he would be without them. 

"Charles..." Arthur felt compelled to murmur, afraid of what his next words might be. Afraid he would he say something they both weren't ready to hear. 

He was saved by the sound of a horse galloping in their direction. They both jumped apart and Arthur took a second to notice just how close they were to each other, before he turned towards the road. 

Still a bit dazed, it took him longer than usual to realize who the rider was. He felt his body deflate at the sight, sudden and complete relief making him tremble. 

Sadie was back. 

*  
The next few minutes were a blur. Arthur didn't remember moving, but suddenly he found himself hugging Sadie. His arms wrapped tightly around her as he gave a deep sigh of relief. He could feel Sadie's hands settling on his back. They stayed there for a moment, before Sadie grunted and pushed him gently away. 

"You're crushing me" she said, voice hoarse. When Arthur chuckled in response, she gave him one last pat on the shoulder, before turning to Charles and embracing him as well. 

This gave Arthur a chance to give her a once over, searching for any visible injuries, some signs that she was hurt. Her clothes were mudded and dirty, but apart from some light scratches it seemed like she was alright. 

There was something wrong though. If the fact that Dutch wasn't there with her wasn't evidence enough of that, Arthur could clearly see it in Sadie's face, once she untangled herself from Charles' arms. 

"What happened?" he asked, uneasy feeling settling in his gut. 

Before she could answer she was snatched by another pair of arms, Abigail was here with John a few steps behind her. 

"Sadie, we were so worried. What kept you so long?" Abigail chided, with no real force behind her words and a smile she wasn't even trying to contain. 

Sadie's face softened for a second before hardening again at Abigail's question. 

"Dutch" she growled, looking directly at Arthur. Her eyes were burning with hatred he would never like to experience up close. 

Arthur gritted his teeth, hands closing into fists. "What did he do?" He was proud of how controlled his was sounded despite the fact that he was shaking with anger. To his left he could see Charles’ worried gaze fixed on him. 

"That fucking bastard, he hit me over the head with something and I passed out. Once I woke up I was lying in a tent and he was gone. The money was gone too. He tricked us all, Arthur." Sadie's lips were twisted with anger and, even though Arthur knew this anger wasn't directed at him, every word still felt like a dagger pushing deep inside his chest. It was all your fault, that treacherous little voice in his head was saying.

"Are you okay?" he asked, trying to push his guilt aside. It wasn't a time for it. 

"I'm fine. Better than he will be once I'm done with him." 

"Sadie, I'm so sorry…" 

"Oh, shut up, Arthur, it wasn't your fault" her voice suddenly softened as she looked Arthur in the eyes. He couldn't detect even a hint of lie in hers. 

"Weren't you supposed to talk to him about blaming himself?" Sadie's next words were much harder and aimed at Charles, as she turned toward him with a frown. 

Charles quickly raised his hands in surrender. "Don't blame me, I tried" 

Arthur couldn't help a bark of laughter that left his lips at the scene before him. They both looked ridiculous, with Sadie appearing like she was just a few seconds away from biting Charles' head off and Charles taking an unconscious step back. 

"Alright, I get it" he said, chuckling. "We've all made that decision and we were all stupid to do that. Now leave Charles alone" 

"Whatever you say, boss" she replied, giving Charles a small wink. 

With the last huffs of laughter, they turned serious again. Suddenly remembering the situation they were in and how dire it was. 

"We need to find him" Sadie said, turning her head back to Arthur, her lips in one hard line.  
Arthur nodded, but they both knew it was nearly impossible to find Dutch if he didn’t want them to find him. Especially now that he got money and could go anywhere. Before Arthur could sink deeper into his own thoughts, full of guilt and self-doubt, he was pulled out by John’s voice.

"Well, that won't be very difficult, seeing how he's heading our way right now" Arthur looked at him, startled, as John pointed with his chin towards the road. The other man took one step forward, making sure to stand between Abigail and the approaching horse, pistol drawn.

"No one does anything" Arthur warned, moving to the front of the group, observing as Dutch silhouette got nearer.

"Arthur" Dutch greeted smoothly as he halted his horse, jumping off in one fluid movement. His eyes travelled from Arthur and swept over the rest of the group to finally stop on Sadie. "Mrs. Adler, I hope you were comfortable when you woke up." 

"You bastard, you've knocked me out and took the money."

"And I deeply regret that. Please accept my sincere apology, Mrs. Adler, but it had to be done. It was all part of the plan." 

"What are you talking about, Dutch?" Arthur heard John's voice from behind him. He sounded just as mad as Sadie. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've solved our little problem" Dutch announced, spreading his arms widely, his head held high and proud. There was a soft, benevolent smile on his face, but it didn't seem sincere especially when paired with the dangerous spark in his eyes. His whole demeanor that of a man who expected to be praised for what he did. 

Arthur exchanged a look with John, who moved forward in the meantime, now standing shoulder to shoulder with him in front of Dutch. Their bodies a shelter between Dutch and the others. John's expression was cautious with barely hidden anger behind his features. 

"What did you do?" Arthur urged Dutch to explain, tired of theatrics. The man knew how to make an entrance, it was obvious. If Arthur didn't know him so well, he would be impressed. Looking from the corner of his eye at Sadie and Charles, he was certain they felt the same way. 

Dutch sent a pleased, sharp smile his way. 

"You won't have any more problems with the Pinkertons, I'll tell you that" he waved off Arthur's question, his gaze seeking Sadie again, before he spoke. "I must thank you, Mrs. Adler, I wouldn't be able to do it if it wasn't for you." 

Arthur could feel anger, that was slowly boiling inside him since Dutch arrived, reaching its peak. He knew what Dutch was doing. Coming here with a solution to the their problem, talking like he was their goddamn savior, like they should put all their trust in him and not question his actions. He was trying to pull them in once again, to make them feel like they were dependent on him. The way he was talking to Sadie was the same way he was talking to Arthur sometimes. Usually when he tried, in a moment of clarity, to pull himself from Dutch's influence, when he stepped away enough to see just how wrong and twisted Dutch had become. 

"Dutch" Arthur barked, his voice thick with anger. 

Dutch made a show of rolling his eyes, exasperated sigh leaving his lips. All of this might have seemed like annoyance of a well-meaning father over his son's attitude, if it wasn't for his eyes. When Arthur looked into them they were black and furious.

Those two aspects of Dutch's character were more and more confusing to Arthur the longer he thought about them. He didn't know how to reconcile the caring father that Dutch was to him before and seemed to be when he visited him just a few weeks ago with this Dutch he was seeing right now. The same Dutch that chose to listen to Micah instead of Arthur and left him shot and bleeding on the mountain top with nothing more than a moment of hesitation. They both seemed real. Arthur believed that Dutch loved him and was honest when he said so, that he wasn't lying when he was apologizing to Arthur for treating him badly after Hosea had died. But there was also something darker lurking inside the man, coming to the surface more and more frequently ever since the Blackwater mess. Whenever Arthur thought he finally managed to pull Dutch back to light, it always came back. 

It was maddening to see a man he trusted completely changing before Arthur's eyes, to the point where it wasn't obvious if Dutch still wanted the best for them. Or if they were here to satisfy his ever inflating ago. 

Arthur was getting tired of trying to understand, of giving Dutch another chances. 

That's why he met Dutch's eyes head on, deciding there and then that it was enough. 

"Dutch, you better tell us what's going on right now or I will throw you out of here" he growled, his lips settling into thin, determined line. "You aren't our leader anymore and as much as I want you by our side I won't risk all of us, so you can play your games." 

Arthur never thought he would have enough strength to stand up to Dutch like that. He probably still wouldn't have if it wasn't for the wall of support he had behind him. All those people that gave him a purpose after Dutch's betrayal, showed him that there could still be something more waiting for him in life. He owed it to them to be strong right now. 

He could see Dutch's eyes widening at his words. 

"Son, you know I would never try to undermine your position" he said calmly, face open and completely honest. 

"Do I, Dutch? So far all you did since you came here was lying to use and going behind my back. You must see why I have trouble believing you."

"I was just doing what I thought was the best." 

Dutch paused for a moment, intent on making Arthur understand. But something in Arthur's expression must have told him this time was different because he sighed heavily before speaking again. 

"Listen son, I know how hard you all have worked to make this place your home and I hated to think that you will have to leave it behind. So I've found a solution." 

"And this solution involved hitting me over the head?" Sadie chimed in sharply and Arthur had to smile despite himself. If Dutch thought this was a way to win them over he miscalculated worse than ever before in his life. And that's saying something. 

"That was unfortunate and I deeply regret it, Mrs. Adler, but it had to be done. Otherwise you wouldn't let me do what needed to be done" 

"What exactly did you do, Dutch?" John asked, impatient. 

"I've used the money Mrs. Adler retrieved to pay off the Pinkertons." A disbelieving silence fallen over them at those words. Arthur could almost hear shocked inhales all around him. Not quite willing to consider implications of this, afraid of being disappointed, but not fully able to stop the raising glimmer of hope. Unable to squash that small voice in their heads saying that they were finally free. 

Arthur was the first one to speak. "You paid all of our bounties?" He asked, voice shaky, hesitant. 

Dutch nodded, satisfied with the effect his words had. Small smirk appearing on his lips as he replied. 

"And then some. I added a little extra money as an… let's call it incentive, to make sure they won't bother us anymore. They were really pleased with the pay off. " 

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, not letting himself feel relief at what Dutch's actions meant for them just yet. He was more focused on Dutch's motivation. He didn't understand why Dutch would do something like this, knowing how dangerous it could be for him. Dutch van der Linde, one of the most wanted men in this part of America, paying a visit to the Pinkertons in hopes that they would negotiate with him. If Arthur didn't know better, he would think Dutch was a fool. 

"Dutch, they could have killed you on the spot. " Before Arthur could voice his doubts, John beat him to it. Apparently, the other man was bothered by the same thoughts he was. Arthur smiled despite himself at that realization. 

"That's why I didn't tell you. I knew you wouldn't agree to it." Dutch turned his gaze from John and towards the group. "None of you would." 

"And we would be right not to." Arthur wasn't sure if he was more annoyed at Dutch not telling them what he was planning or at his disregard for the danger he had been in. Probably both of those things equally. 

"It all worked out fine, Arthur." Dutch dismissed him with a wave of his hand. 

"Maybe it did. It doesn't change the fact that you've lied to us, Dutch."

Dutch sighed, exasperated. "Oh, come on, Arthur. I did what I had to do." 

"No, you did what you wanted to do.” Arthur raised his voice, his frustration now palpable. He was getting tired of this constant wondering, of trying to understand Dutch, only to be surprised by him once again. More often than not in a bad way. After all that happened Dutch still didn’t understand and Arthur was growing weary of explaining. “And you did it without telling any of us. It’s like that thing with Micah all over again.”

“Arthur, what are you talking about? That thing was a mistake, you know I’m not that man anymore.” Arthur could laugh at how genuine he sounded if it wasn’t so goddamn sad. 

“That’s the problem, Dutch. I’m no longer sure what kind of man you are. And sometimes you seem to be more than one.” Saying those words made his chest hurt terribly, especially when he saw Dutch’s crestfallen expression, pain that was painted into his features so authentic, it reminded Arthur of that horrible day when Hosea died. That was the only other time he saw so much unguarded suffering on Dutch’s face. 

He felt a hand settling on his shoulder, squeezing it tightly in reassurance. John. 

Arthur could feel a strange kind of warm spreading from John’s hand down his shoulder, into his chest, giving him strength that he needed to continue. It was time to sever the tie that always bounded him to Dutch, making him unable to ever let go of the man, no matter how many times he was betrayed. 

Arthur never thought this moment would come. In his wildest dreams he couldn’t imagine leaving the man he owed so much. But things had changed. Now he had a family that needed him. There was another debt that he needed to repay, even though Arthur knew they wouldn’t call it a debt and probably smack him for even saying so. They saved his life, gave him a purpose, something to fight for and Arthur was finally ready to choose them.

“I love you, Dutch, you will always be like a father to me, but we want to live peacefully now, and I know you aren’t capable of that. I don’t want another Blackwater or Saint Denis, I don’t want them to be caught in a crossfire of your next plan.” He could feel the words heavy on his tongue, every one of them dragged painfully from his throat to meet Dutch’s pained expression.

Arthur lowered his eyes, no longer able to look at Dutch, the weight of emotions clearly visible on the other man’s face and too heavy for him to bear. He vaguely felt Sadie putting her hand on his other shoulder and felt immensely grateful for that. Certain that if it wasn’t for her and John holding him upright, he would fall over. 

His head shoot upwards, startled, when Dutch huffed a quiet laugh. He smiled sadly when he saw Arthur’s eyes meeting his. Dutch’s eyes were full of pain too great to be put into words and colored with melancholy that was twisting Arthur’s insides. 

“You were always more like Hosea than me. Much wiser than I could ever be.” 

“Dutch…” Arthur started, the rest of the words cut in his throat. There was so much he wanted to say, but at the same time he was completely clueless how to say it. He didn’t need to worry, not with Dutch who knew him so well. One look at his face and Dutch knew everything that Arthur couldn’t say. He nodded his understanding an turned around. 

“There is still some money left, you should take it” Dutch was rummaging through his saddlebag. Before Arthur’s brain caught up with his body, he was already taking the few steps that were separating them. He grasped Dutch’s arm, causing the other man to stop and look at him inquiringly.

“Keep the money, you will need it more than we do.”

“We should split them equally” Dutch tried to protest, his brows furrowing, before he was halted by Arthur’s expression. 

“We have everything we need here, Dutch” he saw the other man relenting, as he sighed deeply and turned towards Arthur. 

“If that’s what you want.” Dutch replied, still looking a bit confused. 

Arthur nodded and before he could add anything else Dutch was pulling him into a hug. 

Arthur’s hands circled Dutch’s back almost immediately and he could feel Dutch exhaling as his shoulders slumped down. He tried not to consider the fact that he might be hugging the other man for the last time. That thought alone almost made him take back everything he said and ask Dutch to stay. But deep down he knew it was for the best. No matter how much they loved each other, they couldn’t go back to the way things were. It would only bring ruin upon them all. 

A few breaths passed, and they were parting. Arthur trying hard to blink back the moisture that gathered in his eyes without anyone noticing. He felt slightly reassured, seeing that Dutch was doing the same thing. 

They stood like that a moment longer, trying their best to compose themselves before Dutch cleared his throat and, with one last pat on the shoulder, walked past Arthur, towards John. 

“John” he nodded, offering a hand that John clasped with his own.

“If you ever need anything, you know where to find us” Arthur had to smile at John’s grumbling but sincere tone. 

Dutch tipped his hat to the rest of the group, adding one last apology to Sadie, which she begrudgingly accepted. And then he was climbing onto his horse, throwing one last look at them before softly steering his horse to turn around. 

“Dutch?” Arthur’s voice stopped him, before he had a chance to go too far.

“Yes, son?” Dutch turned in his saddle, throwing a curious look his way.

“Thank you for helping us.”

Dutch’s lips widened into a smirk as he nodded on last time. 

“Always.”

And then he was gone.

*

“You gotta hand it to Dutch, no matter how much lying and scheming he did to get us there, he finally kept his promise” Arthur slurred a few hours later, in between sips from his bottle of beer.

Once Dutch left and the thought that they were safe finally settled in their minds, there was no other choice but to celebrate. So they did. John brought crates of beer and whiskey from the cellar and they sat down around the fire, smiles and laughs all around. 

And even though Arthur had difficulties with letting the realization that they were free men sink in, the memories of saying goodbye to Dutch still distracting him, clouding his mind, the carefree atmosphere was making him relax. He suspected that Sadie handing him one beer after another also helped.

So now he sat there, in front of the fire, leaning heavily on Charles’ shoulder. He was sharing a bottle of whiskey with Sadie, watching with blurry eyes as John and Abigail laughed, sitting opposite of him. Seeing them blushing and whispering to each other, eyes shining with happiness, was making a new kind of warmth raise inside Arthur. One that wasn’t caused by alcohol. That was what he always wanted for them, to settle down and be happy, to be a real family.

“Yes, it was a real smooth ride” Sadie huffed, and Arthur made an effort to turn his head towards her. He would fall forward if it wasn’t for a pair of strong hands keeping him upright. He could feel Charles’ warm breath on his temple, as the other man chuckled. “I swear, if I ever hear the word ‘plan’ again I will scream.” 

Arthur barked a laugh, loud enough to startle John and Abigail from whatever they were doing, that ended with a hiccup. He tried very hard not to blush, with no success, as he felt Charles shake next to him, barely containing his own laughter, and saw Sadie smirking at him. 

He was beginning to think they weren’t as drunk as he was, and there was a sneaky suspicion in his head that they did it on purpose. In his hazy mind there was only one logical way to show his displeasure. He pointed a finger at Sadie, who was still smirking at him unashamedly, and mumbled, his tongue tripping over words.

“You got me drunk on purpose.”

Sadie didn’t even try to deny it. She just shrugged and looked at him, gaze unapologetic, eyes sparking with mirth. 

“Otherwise you would just be moping the whole evening. I’ve spared us all the suffering.” 

Arthur opened his mouth to protest, but closed it a moment later, suddenly too tired to say anything. He noticed with displeasure that Charles was now full on laughing at him.

“I don’t know, Sadie. I rather like the not drunk out of his mind Arthur” he felt Charles voice rumble though his chest, making him want to bury even closer into the other man. And why the hell not, he figured, he was drunk out of his mind, no one would hold it against him. So he did just that. He turned away from Sadie with indignant snort and buried his face into Charles chest. Immediately, there were fingers combing through his hair and Arthur definitely wasn’t purring. 

“Why am I not surprised?” Sadie’s teasing tone barely registered in his mind, as all his thoughts focused on the feeling of Charles’s fingers massaging his scalp.

The next thing he remembered was Charles’ voice talking to him gently, willing him to wake up.

“I’ll walk you to your room.” 

His arm was placed around Charles’ shoulders as the other man tried to get Arthur to his feet. 

“It’s your fault I’m drunk” Arthur mumbled, feeling it was important to point out. 

“Sure it is” Charles soothed, as he took the first step towards their house, half carrying Arthur.

Then suddenly they were in his bedroom with Arthur laying on the top of the covers and Charles pulling off his boots. He blinked, now he was covered with a blanket, through his blurry eyes he could see Charles readying to leave. That wasn’t good. 

“Charles” Arthur slurred, grasping blindly for the other man’s hand. He didn’t mange to grab it, but Charles stopped anyway, turning back and looking at him expectantly. 

There were words at the back of Arthur’s mind. Words he’d meant to say earlier but didn’t. He was sure he had a good reason for not saying them but couldn’t really remember what it was. All he saw were Charles’ warm, caring eyes and the curious tilt of his jaw. 

“I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you.” Arthur said, as clear as he could, keeping his eyes firmly on the pair before him. 

The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was Charles’ broad smile.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd really appreciate your thoughts :)


End file.
